The Lava Princess and The Ice Prince Opinions

Awakened
12/08/12

Verse one: I miss the misery, the way you told me to go away. The way you blame me.

Verse 2: Miss when I tried to keep you, then I just realized; you aren’t worth keeping. I was awakened, now you try to say it’s my fault.

Chorus: You awakened me when you lied straight to my face. You told me that you only love one girl, and that was me. I was stupid enough to listen …

[ Full reading ]

Title: Sanity Sisters
Date: 6-6-11

Verse 1: We’re sanity sisters til the end, side by side. We can keep each other sane. That’s why we’re sanity sisters.

Chorus: We fight together, we die together. We kill anything that stands in our path. We stand together, we die together, we’re sanity sisters.

Verse 2: We’ll be sanity sisters, we’ll be blood sisters, we’ll be side by …

[ Full reading ]

Title: Staying Sane
Date: 6-5-11

Verse 1: We’re walking, in sand. We’re laughing, minds alike, we’re staying sane, we have each other.

Chorus: Those who choose to have. Those who choose to have unlike minds, most likely will go insane. We stay sane. We promised to each other we won’t change, we won’t turn our backs on each other.
*Repeat Chorus*2

Verse 2: We laugh. We cry. …

[ Full reading ]

Title: Forever Haunted
Date: 6-3-11

Verse 1: Footsteps all around me, something following, nothings there. Run and Hide but they always find you.

Chorus: Haunted by the ghost of your past, Haunted by your future, Haunted by today.

Verse 2: Pull the covers over my face, try to hide, they come and seek and always win the game. It’s a never ending game of Hide and Seek.

(Repeat chorus)2

…

[ Full reading ]

Title: My Heart Belongs to You
Date: 6-3-11

Verse 1:
See your face, how it shines in the sun light. See your eyes how they glow in the darkest light. See your smile, how it shines through the grey days. See your heart, how it races when I’m by your side.

Chorus:
My heart belongs to you. Please, oh please. Don’t break it. I love you and that’s the only thing my heart knows. My heart …

[ Full reading ]

Title: Lost Sanity
Date: 6-3-11

Verse 1: Broken Sanity. Unspoken voices speak of nothing, Lost but not found. Seen but unseen. I hear them, but my sanity is lost in the web of lost voices of nothing, Spoken by no one.

Chorus: Lost sanity. Never found. Never lost, spoken from unspoken words. Remembering everything but nothing. Lost sanity, Lost in my mind. Lost on my own. Lost sanity.

Verse …

[ Full reading ]

Subject: The Lava Princess and The Ice Prince Opinions Sat Apr 20, 2013 7:50 am

OK so some of you might have read my story. I need opinions please. I also need ideas for chapter four-six OK. Ideas anyone? Thanks it's appreciated.

I read it when I saw this poll. Couple things on chapters 1-3 and I'm just trying to help so please don't take it personally.

1-Should proof read it before submitting it, or re-read it before moving on because there are some spelling errors and should probably fix it.

2-ALWAYS start a new line when a new person is talking, it'll help make the chapters longer and easier to read.

Here's an example of what I mean:

Ember approached him kneeling down "I can help you, just give me a few seconds" (Everything else on the line afterwards).

"Thank you M'lady."

3-Be descriptive in what your characters look like, how old they are etc

Now for your new chapters:

1-If you can't think of anything (AKA Writers' Block) take a few days to think about your story and where you would like to have your story to go, you may have to change a few things; maybe even a whole chapter or two, but your mind changes.

2-If planning on meeting new characters make up names.

3-In the on-coming chapters you should try to make your story more interesting, say in chapter Four: the Lava Kingdom's Guard kidnap him and take him to the dungeon underneath the Kingdom or where ever the dungeon is.

Hope that helps a bit.

Thank you Alice, this does help

You're Welcome.

I updated it

Alright; I'll read it.

Also, besides them getting kidnapped, any other ideas?

Besides of the Prince getting kidnapped by the Lava Kingdom? Um, you'll probably have some ideas afterwards.

Thank you so much for the help Very Happy

You are a great friend. Now I'm going to be thinking of chapter 4 The prince is kidnapped...or maybe that'll happen later...poor William...*Giggles* I'm hyper

I see that... Well... I am going to try to finish Chapter 17 and work on the next two chapters. If you need anything just message me.

OK Thank you

Another thing: in the description it says it's like Romeo and Juliet? To me, it doesn't sound anything like that but just two people that you need to make real: What I mean is that, don't copy two really old characters from Shakesphere, but make up your two own people in a story that you think your readers' are going to love.

We also need some... DRAMA! Drama in stories always (sometimes) make them more interesting to read. Just depending on which way you're planning to take the story.

Right now you have what is called writers' block: writers' block is when you basically have nothing else to write about. So when that happens you just don't stop writing. That's the moment you go back, re-read your story, make your story more flexible to fit more description in from the previous chapter, but there's a catch: make sure it ties down into your story perfectly. If it doesn't, make it tie into your story. See, when I was working on my first book, I got writers' block on Chapter 10, so what I did was I went back and edited A LOT of things, and then got more ideas after I fixed up those problems.

Now, what bother's me (Not trying to be mean or anything like that). Make your story unique, in your own words. Make it known that you know that you know what you want in the story. If it's like Romeo and Juliet, just don't say it's like Romeo and Juliet but different. The readers' will know if you make it known. If they read Romeo and Juliet then this story will probably remind them.

Do not, and I mean do not keep saying "and" "the" "said" etc, for future references. It'll get really annoyed with your readers' quickly then they will start to judge.

What I do is a copy and past a chapter to a Word Document, then I'll print it off so I can take it to school when I have an empty Study Hall; or when I have extra time in a class I'll proof read it, then I'll have a friend proof read it, then come back to me and saying that she wants more because it's good etc.

Pour your heart and soul into your stories that you plan on making. Don't rush into them. Make some major changes if you need to, but make sure it'll tie up with everything else in your chapter of the story.

I do understand that you're still trying to get a hang of this whole writing concept... Believe me though; you'll get the hang of it eventually, you won't need help as often as you do now.

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